Always Too Late
by Charmina
Summary: The moon and the stars shone down on him brightly, twinkling like such horrible things as sadness and grief had never excisted, and it broke his heart all over again. How could a world that was so beautiful ever be so cruel? Implied slash HarryCedric


Disclaimer – Harry Potter and co belongs to J.K Rowling, which is something you really should know by now!

Warnings – Implied slash and past character death.

**Always Too Late**

_  
I wish you never told me_

_I wish I never knew_

_I wake up screaming_

_It's all because of you_

Three Days Grace - Scared

He ran through the corridor, feet pounding against the stone floor and his breath coming in ragged sobs. His unbuttoned robe billowed behind him and his jet black hair bounced with each rushed, frantic step as he continued on. Everything was dark around him, the midnight shadows creeping around his desperate body, and he was the only thing breaking the silence of a school full of people lost in their own dreams.

"_Oh Harry, it wasn't your fault"_

"_How do you know? You weren't there!"_

Smashing in to the door of an unused classroom, he throw it open and half-ran, half-fell inside. Dust, unmoved for centuries, rose up around him and he coughed in the the darkness. Swiftly making his way to the only window he leaned against the window-sill, staring out over the grounds, as he tried to catch his breath.

This was not right! This could not be happening! Running shaking hands through his ruffled hair, he felt another heart-wrenching sob tear itself from his sore throat. "It isn't fair!" he screamed, banging his fist against the stone wall, as the echo bounced around the room. Droping his head in to his hands the tears he had tried to hold back for so long overflowed and started making rivers down his pale cheeks. "It isn't fair," he whispered brokenly, wishing that his statement could somehow make the Gods realise their mistake and make everything right again.

"I am so sorry," he cried, tearfilled eyes looking up and out the dusty window. The moon and the stars shone down on him brightly, twinkling like such horrible things as sadness and grief had never excisted, and it broke his heart all over again. How could a world that was so beautiful ever be so cruel?

"_Harry, Cedric wouldn't want you to blame yourself"_

"_Of course he would! I bloody killed him, he would hate me!"_

As if any sudden movements could make the heavens fall down over his head, he slowly reached out a hand and gently released the clasp that held the window closed. A soft breeze stroked his skin as he jumped up and sat himself in the open window, both legs pulled up and hugged close to his chest. His eyes closed as the stillness of the night relaxed his storming emotions and he heaved a heavy sigh as he regained control over himself.

No, the world really was not fair, he admitted. If it was he would not hurt like this, he would not feel like there was this big hole in his heart, like someone had cracked open his chest and taken a big bite out of it and then dumped him without even closing the wound. He would not feel like his mind was breaking every time he closed his eyes and he could see all those horrible things play out before him as if they were happening right then and there. If the world was fair Sirius would not be on the run, Voldemort would be nothing but ashes, Remus would not have to suffer like he did every month and Cedric would never have died.

A fresh wave of tears spilled out of his eyes again and he brushed them away angrily. He did not deserve to cry like this. Cedric was the one who had died without a chance to defend himself, like he was a worthless rag that needed to be tossed away. He had never even known what was about to happen . . .

The tears would not relent so he gave in to them as sobs started to shake his small body. The world was so far from fair he wondered if anyone had even realised it.

"_No, he could never hate you. Not you"_

"_What are you on about?"_

Oh God, how he wished things had been different! He had been so clueless, so naive, that he had never seen what was right in front of him. If he had just opened his eyes and acted sooner maybe things would have played out differently, maybe Cedric would even be alive today. But no, his eyes had remained firmly closed and not even afterwards had he come to understand what his own heart was trying to say. And it hurt, oh God, it hurt when Hermione said those words. Those beautiful, wonderful words that was twisted in to foulness and mockery because they came too late and from the wrong lips.

Banging his fist down on the stone beneath him he screamed straight out, putting all his anger, all his despair and misery, in to that one single cry. He let all of it out, opened up his soul and bared it for the whole world to see, to understand how deep he was sinking and how dark everything looked from here. He screamed until his throat was raw, and his body shoke and there was no more breath left in his lungs, and he looked up to the stars, to the moon, and with one little word asked all the million questions he would never find the answer for, "Why?"

Why was life never fair, never easy? Why did everything have to hurt so damn much and why could not the beauty be more then a fading facade? Why did the heart always have to break when it was so close to completion, and why could happiness never last? Why could love never conquer evil, and why was everything you had never enough? Why were the most important words never spoken and the deepest feelings never shown? Why were the moments of clarity always far too late?

The tears fell slowly down his cheeks now and a deep emptiness had taken over his mind. He was always too late and, like always, there was no going back. He had been too clueless to see things for what they were and this was his punishment. And his emerald eyes clouded over, just like the stars and the moon in the sky, as he sat alone in the window feeling his heart break and wondering if it would ever be whole again.

"_Harry, Cedric loved you"_

"I loved you too"


End file.
